Nobody died. And it was amazing.
And no one made fun of anyone else. Except me. I made fun of one girl. But I
didn’t make fun of her because of any sort of physical ineptness, because that
would be mean. I only made fun of her insistence on whining during such a
spectacularly fun occasion. It was discrete mockery too; for the ears of my
sister only.
In spite of the ominous lawyerese
on the release form it was abundantly safe and so much fucking fun that you
need to go do it. Right now. Call in to work, whatever it takes.
Fair
warning, the back of your legs will look like this:
And
this can happen to your pants:
And it’s a lot harder than it looks. For me. There is
something horribly wrong with my body that prevents me from getting my legs
over the damn bar in the normal way, so I had to learn an alternate way. Which
they say is harder. I didn’t know if that was true or if they just say that to
make people feel better about being sent to remedial trapeze school. But I
proved to my satisfaction that it is in fact more difficult, by immediately getting
my leg tangled in both the trapeze and the safety line, which no one else was
able to do. Hence the pants. Anyway, I finally managed it.
However it’s hard to catch up to
the others when you get sent back. To remedial trapeze school. Like I did. So by
the end of the session, I was losing my mind. Half the people had crapped out,
and the other half had managed to perfect their timing, and were being
instructed on how to do the catch. I was pretty much left to go again and
again.
In my crazed
determination to perfect my timing, I was forgetting all the safety rules and
had to be reminded once by a fellow student and once by an instructor to hook
up my safety lines. The instructor actually made me climb down the ladder and
take a moment to breathe and calm myself, so I was probably pretty much a wreck
by then.
I didn’t get to do the catch
because I totally fucked up my last turn, and I had been warned there was some
concern that I might crash into the catcher and injure us both. I was so hyped
up that I was totally prepared to take a head injury, but they are a bit overprotective
of their staff. So fine.
Here is what I did on my final turn:
And here is my sister doing it properly:
So it was awesome. And the people
who were good were very sweet and encouraging to those who weren’t. By the end
that was just me, because everybody else had quit. So I got to be the plucky
girl who didn’t give up, even though she sucked. Which is not what I was
planning; but it wasn’t so bad.
That! Is pretty freaking awesome!
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